***lovely vivi***

【Memories of the year 1998】

     In this year, for me the most memorable thing is to start the first of the diaries. 10 years has passed so fast, I already have more than 10 thick diaries. Whenever read, I will easily get emotional. Things happened such a long time ago that even after reading the diaries some old memories will not be called back anymore. A woman who was growing up from a young age, her thoughts about family, friendship, and love also, was carefully recorded in it. Just as what I had written in the prologue of the first diary, these are my own stories, there is only one reader, that is none other than myself.

     It is a pity that I became more and more lazy nowadays, I m writing many blogs instead of diaries.

【Memories of the year 1999】

     In this year, we were too busy preparing for the senior high school exams, no longer have time to celebrate birthdays in the same day with friends; no longer childishly sent Dear John Letter to longtime old friend; we three (including olla and Shi) no longer wrote letters together to Wei with the same signature of Yang Wang; no longer played with classmates freely at class-break and got scolded by the teachers; no longer crazy with "Gone with the Wind" and carved at desks with "I love Rhett Butler". However, living and studying is going on as usual in the excitement and fun, everyone was still active and happy as before.

     In this year, I stopped the friendship with a very good friend Hui because of misunderstanding. It was my fault so this became the most stupid thing that I did during the junior high school years.

     In this year, I got the first poem from a boy who was in one-side love with me. The poem was written in the Graduation Guest Book without saying anything obviously.

     In this year, I became a senior high school student in the same middle school No.1 Middle School, moved from Songlin Building to the old laboratory building. I didn’t get very high scores in the entering test which was regarded as the first blow in my life. In the first semester of the senior high school, I suddenly found that I was no more a kid, I felt like I had grown up overnight. I was enjoying the time after school during which I was usually sitting on the bleachers, holding books and looking from far away at the classmates on the playground. At that time, my heart was full of romantic longing about university.

     In this year, the romantic atmosphere seems to be particularly strong in school, Lan often dragged me to the roof of classroom building and looked at a handsome boy who became her bf after 2 years, olla and Lin's love was also beginning. These are the most long-lasting loves in the circle of my friends so far.

     In this year, I became especially rebellious, I started to act against the teacher and rejected whatever she asked me to do, such as to be the class cadre, to take part in the opening ceremony of the school sports meeting, to be the standard-bearer, etc. I was only willing to stay with my friends and enjoyed the time with them. – I will always remember it because she was the first to say that I am an introverted person (actually I was such an outgoing girl) with the reason that I didn’t like staying in my own class, instead, I went to Shan’s classroom in the next door in my spare time.

     In this year, I first read Harry Potter. 10 years has passed so fast, it is the decade in Harry’s stories and mine also.

【Memories of the year 2000】

     In this year, we moved from the old laboratory building to Fenjin Building. The classroom was located in a good position from which we can overlook the playground. In front of the classroom there was a blank space, at the class break all of us would lean on the railing, chatting, playing games and looking at other students upstairs. English teacher became the Head Teacher, because of which all the class was out of rule and turned to be a very lively class. At the end of the semester, I started skipping classes crazily, made an absenteeism for more than 20 classes in one week at most.

     In this year, I began to read prose and comics, borrowed many books from Xu. Meantime, all sorts of books were being shared within the class, from "Young GTO Shonan Junai Gumi OAV" to "Hana Yori Dango", from "Ling Xia Yi Du" to "San Chong Men", etc. I think this was the very year in which I read most books during the middle school. I will never get bored with the feeling about literature within the class.

     In this year, the new classmates turned to be good friends, we were hanging around all day long. After school we usually bet for any kinds of reasons on different things, such as Satay Noodles downstairs, green tea and Wangwang small steamed bun, etc. Unluckily, I often lost in it.

     In this year, I became a "Winnie", the one who gave me the nickname became my sworn brother. This new brother cared me a lot and I was enjoying the days with him. When I cried, he would comfort me well, when I was not in good mood, he would try to help me cheer up. So I said to myself that I would not have any other sworn brothers in future.

     In this year, I suddenly found my orientation a little different. I liked a girl very much, I liked holding her arm, I was enjoying her distinctive smell, I prefer to call her as "Little Lover". When we was together in the party, I like to sit with her and stay in her arms. I thought I was in love with her which scared me a lot. Until today, I still like to call her the same, and talk to her in the way as lovers do. It is funny and we were all enjoying playing like this.

【Memories of the year 2001】

     In this year, I started to watch football games, because friends around me were all football fans. The first thing about football I learnt was "offside", but it seemed really difficult for me so I gave up in the end. During that time, the Chinese team was positive struggling for the World Cup competency. Students were gathering in the school canteen watching the games, whenever they kicked a goal everyone would cheer excitedly.

     In this year, I started to play Pingpong (table tennis). I didn’t go home for lunch at noon, instead, I stayed with Shan, Carrot and other friends. After lunch I learnt to play pingpong from them. After some time, I was still in the same level, even Shan didn’t like to play with me anymore. However, I like to go with good friends for pingpong playing in weekends. Day by day, friends seemed not so interested in playing with me because of my poor skill, instead, they liked looking at me and laughing all the way.

     In this year, oversea study had become very popular, many of my classmates went to Germany for further study. One of my good friends who had been in the same class with me for 9 years also decided to go to New Zealand. In our primary school head teacher’s wedding, many of the old friends were there other than him, we felt kind of upset even in that happy occasion.

     In this year, I made up with Hui and became very good friends as before. After then, 7 years has gone, he is getting married in this coming May, all the friends are all very happy for this good news.

     In this year, some problems were brought between me and a good friend Xiaobin. Sworn brother, Yinchuan, Guangyu, Xu and Xiaobin played a big joke on me in which xiaobin was the protagonist. I was deeply hurt and got irritated. After that I didn’t say a word to Xiaobin anymore. I was making the same mistakes and doing the same stupid things in my young age. My heart was paining because I lost a very good friend again, but I was so angry that I couldn’t think it seriously before making the decision. Xiaobin and I were Lan’s good friends like before, but the friendship between him and me was no more. Thank god, a year later, we made up again. Nothing changed, we took good care of the friendship until now. It has been more than 10 years.

【Memories of the year 2002】

     In this year, my class could not escape the fate of being carved up. I joined the new class and became an absolutely new comer. However, I got myself accepted by the new class quickly, and new classmates were the same as the old ones who were enjoying joking on me, saying that someone was in love with me. Scandals were being spread all around the class like this. This was a very special year in my life because I felt in love with someone for the first time. I had been struggling too much in my heart for a long time and finally it got settled. By then I already graduated from the senior high school. We were all staying in the classroom, thinking about graduation and separation, tearing silently. At that time, I was rather emotional and my heart was paining severely, I knew that classmates would leave the class and go for their new lives. I would never love to say goodbye to them all but I was so helpless, I could do nothing about it.

     In this year, Mother's health was getting worse and worse so fast, disease deterioration suddenly got serious, moreover, grandmother (mother’s mother) left us in the day before I went to university. In that day, I kneeled at the front of grandmother’s tablet, crying with deep sorrow, memories about grandmother were lingering in my mind. Grandmother was the first close relative who left me after I grew up. Mom fainted and fell down to the ground on the way to sent grandmother. I was feeling like being ripped apart when seeing that.

     In this year, I first left my hometown to university. New classmates called me "Wanzi"(means meatball). I had been slowly cooked by the university like a real meatball for 4 years. I liked carrying a small backpack, going around all the university alone to discover new space.

     In this year, I began to write letters to old friends all over the country, told them about my life in university. I was homesick, thinking of family and friends everyday.

     In this year, I got one more sworn brother. My heart was very conflicted, I didn’t want to betray but I could'nt help.

【Memories of the year 2003】

     In this year, I became someone’s private possession. My character seemed to be reversed suddenly, I became a different vivi. I started to act like a quiet "pet" which SOMEONE may like. In this year, I was sometimes happy and sometimes feeling conflicted, there was no peace in my heart actually.

     Because of being in love, friends all went away from me and I turned to be a lonely shadow, living alone or with bf. Sometimes I felt lonely sometimes happy, I was not like a proud princess anymore.

     In this year, Mother was recovering after an operation. I went back home to see her that day when she just left the ICU. She looked so old because of the big surgery and my heart is hurting somewhat. I thanked god sincerely because I can see Mom’s smiling after such a long time. I therefore felt very grateful and see this year as the happiest year in my life.

【Memories of the year 2004】

     In this year, we had more classes and the subjects became more complicating. However, I got higher level of scholarship in the end of every semester and became more confident. This was the biggest harvest season for me in university for both love and study. In this year, I was very happy, everything was going smoothly.

【Memories of the year 2005】

     In this year, I was extremely lonely most of the time, my life turned to be very simple, always from classroom to dormitory. Most of the time, I did everything alone and the only expectation was to meet bf in the weekends. In this year, roommates all got bfs and they no longer stayed in dorm for spare time except me.

     In this year, I finally got my own computer, which made me an eccentric and unsociable girl. I stayed online all day long and spent time with strangers in QQ, I told them about my feelings about life, study, love, etc. I like internet better than real life during that time.

     In this year, everyone was busy with job hunting or preparing for further study exams. And luckily I was the only one who was recommended to Xiamen University for post-graduate study without entering exams and all the fee. I was so excited at that time and everybody admired me quite a lot. Life after that was so comfortable for me since I was fully free everyday, I didn’t need to worry about future at all, I saw everybody in a hurry with different kind of struggling about job or study, but I couldn’t understand the feelings. However, I still felt lonely as before since nobody for company. I went on spending the days with computer and instant noodles. Sometime I would go through the university to sent night snack for my bf which was the only thing I felt satisfied with.

【Memories of the year 2006】

     In this year, I graduated from the University and returned to my hometown. Life thereafter was smooth, new university, new classmates and also the new environment were quite good for me, I felt satisfied as if I was back to middle school days.

     In this year, we had the first class activities for BBQ and everybody took part in it, it was really wonderful. Until now, every time watching the snaps and videos, I still feel happy. It was a good beginning of the post-graduate studying years.

In this year, Pingpong became popular within the class. I liked playing Pingpong with the girls and also liked watching the boys playing, it was really nice. This new class was like a warm home for us all, I liked it quite a lot.

     In this year, grandma (father’s mother) died all of a sudden without prior warning.  In one morning of that summer holiday, mother woke me up and told me that grandma passed away the night before, I jumped from the bed, went to brush teeth without thinking about anything. Suddenly I realized that grandma had died, meanwhile, tears was pouring down in my face without any sense. At breakfast, I stared at the porridge, tears dripped down bit by bit, memories was lingering in my mind. Only few days ago I was fighting with grandma; after some days I would go for new university to study and brother promised to take grandpa and her together for a look in the first day; also about some of her dreams that I haven’t fulfilled. Whenever thinking of this, I got scolded and began to hate myself.

     After grandmother left, life changed a lot, father had to struggle much to look after grandpa, everyday he traveled from our home to hometown, finally fell ill. The last day in the National Day holiday he was sent to the hospital suddenly. I got sacred and cried to aunt through the phone seriously. Everyday I went from home to the hospital to look after my parents carefully. After some days father recovered and went back home, parents took the credit to me. After this incident I realized that everyone in the family is very important that I should cherish all of them.

【Memories of the year 2007】

     In this year, I finished the first year of post-graduate study and joined in the lab, became a senior. Classmates belonged to different laboratory, because of which, we communicated less and less but still good friends.

     In this year, BF came back to me and I became private possession again. Friends again slowly alienated me, both girl friends and boy friends, I felt upset and didn’t like that kind of life anymore. I was not the old vivi as the one in university.

【Memories of the year 2008】

      In this year, I said goodbye to the 5-year marathon, returned to the circle of my friends. I felt happy because I got back all the freedom, so that I could do whatever I like.

      In this year, I first left for a trip out of Fujian Province with two of my best friends. We went to jiangnan area for almost 10 days, visited many places and enjoyed all kinds of entertainments there. Those were really marvelous memories for me and my friends also.

     In this year, I began to prepare for the graduation and started job hunting. This was the only choice for me so I need to struggle much in it. I didn’t have any other options, I was hurt and upset during these time. If I could come back to 3 years ago I think I would make a difference.

      Above all were the stories about my past decade. 10 years is quite a long time, but I only took some hours to write down the memories. I felt both happy and sad when writing. I experienced much in these 10 years, got something and lost others. However I m here right now, I appreciate it a lot.

     The year of 2009 will be a turning point in my life, because I will come from university to society. In 10 years maybe I will write down the memories about the past decade again, at that time, things will be totally different.

                        ——Finished at 21:49 Mar 11th, 2009